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133 Posts
Are you sitting comfortably....then I shall begin.....
Well today for my sins I had to drive to work in the snow ! - The excitement was almost overwhelming...
Up at 04:45 to clear the windows and lights and after a quick shower and brekky off with the auto brake ....reverse up the drive and onto the road.
Now for the exciting bit......turned the little round dial into the "snow position" and set off up the road.
I like my Tiguan.....so much so we have called him Toby and Toby likes the snow. I like it that Toby likes the snow and Toby likes it that I know he like the snow. Therefore Toby is a good boy and behaves impeccably in the snow. If cars could wear snowshoes then Toby would have a pair. Instead he has 20 inch rims and 4 motion.....a pretty good substitute in my opinion.
Sadly "Ars*hole Astra" and "BollockBrain BMW" and "LarryLgv" are not so happy in the snow. This made Toby a little nervous. Especially when he realised that all three of them were rear wheel drive and in their wisdom decided to venture out into the third lane of the motorway where there was a lot of slush and snow. Larry was as not quite as stupid ....just a little stupid as he didnt realise that his 16 wheels were spraying a shitload of mess all over Toby ! and he didn't venture into the third lane. Poor Ars*hole and BollockBrain.....as the inevitable happened and their silly bottoms began to twitch all over. Toby was trying to image what their drivers bottoms were doing as well (just as they began to slide towards the concrete middle crash barrier) and he wondered if their owners would ever get the brown stain out of their underwear or the car seats for that matter.
Toby trundled on.....sure footed and this made his owner very happy ! - He didn't put a foot wrong all the way to work. He even had a little chuckle when he realised that his workmates cars were stuck in the car park, yet he managed to swoosh around and park in his favourite spot !
Quite refreshed - and with a warm glow his owner climbed out of his best friend - warm buttocked (the heated seats are a wonder) with a ready break glow ......ready for the day !
So chiildren - tell daddy to buy a 4 motion Tiguan.....he won't regret it and he can laugh and laugh at the Astras, Bmw's and LGV's all the way to work.
Goodnight everyone - sleep well.....Toby is all tucked up down his drive with a smug little smile and a big thank you from his delighted owner. He hopes the snow stays a little bit longer as he has yet to meet "Bertie Bus" and "YouArehavingLaugh Pedal Cyclist" but thats another story for another day !

(and if you remember "Listen With Mother" you are as old as me......
Well today for my sins I had to drive to work in the snow ! - The excitement was almost overwhelming...
Up at 04:45 to clear the windows and lights and after a quick shower and brekky off with the auto brake ....reverse up the drive and onto the road.
Now for the exciting bit......turned the little round dial into the "snow position" and set off up the road.
I like my Tiguan.....so much so we have called him Toby and Toby likes the snow. I like it that Toby likes the snow and Toby likes it that I know he like the snow. Therefore Toby is a good boy and behaves impeccably in the snow. If cars could wear snowshoes then Toby would have a pair. Instead he has 20 inch rims and 4 motion.....a pretty good substitute in my opinion.
Sadly "Ars*hole Astra" and "BollockBrain BMW" and "LarryLgv" are not so happy in the snow. This made Toby a little nervous. Especially when he realised that all three of them were rear wheel drive and in their wisdom decided to venture out into the third lane of the motorway where there was a lot of slush and snow. Larry was as not quite as stupid ....just a little stupid as he didnt realise that his 16 wheels were spraying a shitload of mess all over Toby ! and he didn't venture into the third lane. Poor Ars*hole and BollockBrain.....as the inevitable happened and their silly bottoms began to twitch all over. Toby was trying to image what their drivers bottoms were doing as well (just as they began to slide towards the concrete middle crash barrier) and he wondered if their owners would ever get the brown stain out of their underwear or the car seats for that matter.
Toby trundled on.....sure footed and this made his owner very happy ! - He didn't put a foot wrong all the way to work. He even had a little chuckle when he realised that his workmates cars were stuck in the car park, yet he managed to swoosh around and park in his favourite spot !
Quite refreshed - and with a warm glow his owner climbed out of his best friend - warm buttocked (the heated seats are a wonder) with a ready break glow ......ready for the day !
So chiildren - tell daddy to buy a 4 motion Tiguan.....he won't regret it and he can laugh and laugh at the Astras, Bmw's and LGV's all the way to work.
Goodnight everyone - sleep well.....Toby is all tucked up down his drive with a smug little smile and a big thank you from his delighted owner. He hopes the snow stays a little bit longer as he has yet to meet "Bertie Bus" and "YouArehavingLaugh Pedal Cyclist" but thats another story for another day !
(and if you remember "Listen With Mother" you are as old as me......